The death and resurrection of the plubber raccoon...

Kado Kalin, my two year old white German Shepard is a very clever dog. A few weeks ago he disemboweled his plubber (rubber toy with a layer of plush) raccoon. He carried this ridiculous raccoon with him everywhere he went. The only times he let go of it was to go outside to go to the bathroom, eat, and to make you throw the damn thing so he could chase it as it flew down the hallway. He was basically tied at the mouth to this damn raccoon. Kado is widely known for his destruction of all toys, there has not been a toy yet that he has not been able to effectively destroy within a month or two of play. His poor raccoon was completely wrecked a few weeks ago, so I did what any responsible pet owner would do, I threw it away. Kado watched with utter dismay as I placed the raccoon in the trash. He continued to watch the trash pile on top it for the next few hours. Patiently he waited while plotting his move to recover the beloved raccoon from it's burial spot in my trash can.
I have to admit I am the laziest person ever when it comes to placing the lid of the trashcan in the spot where it is meant to reside, on top of the damn can. I believe it's only use is to hide your trash from those who come over to your home to visit. I don't know about you but, I hate visitors. Kado doesn't ever get into the trash can so honestly there isn't any reason other than to hide the trash from view for placing the lid onto the trash can.
I didn't realize Kado was plotting his revival of the raccoon as I left to go to the grocery store that day. I was gone less than an hour, due to my loathing for the grocery store (future blogging topic). When I returned home that day I walked into our front door and went to set the groceries down on the dining room table before putting them away, I realized something wasn't right. Kado was cowering on his pillow with that damn raccoon in his mouth. He was protecting it like a homeless alcoholic would protect his bottle of Mad Dog. I asked him what he had and he dropped it out of his mouth and placed it under his chin in a sad attempt to hide the raccoon from me. Then I turned to look at the trash can to see how exactly he had removed the raccoon from under all those layers of added trash. Kado had daintily removed each and every piece of trash and placed it next to the trash can, somehow he managed to even get out a coffee filter filled with old grounds without spilling the grounds on the floor. I cleaned up all the trash and then walked over to the dog, who hadn't moved a muscle by the way. As I looked into his sad brown eyes I realized I just couldn't take the raccoon away from him. He had gone to all that work to unearth his treasured friend from his garbage grave, and I just couldn't spoil his efforts. Three days later it was the day the grim reaper came calling, trash day. I knew I had to get rid of the raccoon, mostly because he was still chewing pieces of rubber off and leaving them all over my floor. I distracted him with a dog biscuit and proceeded to steal the treasured raccoon and place him in the trash bag and put it out by the curb. He didn't even notice. After all that work he did to recover his friend from a landfill burial place, all it took was a biscuit to make him forget to protect it. The raccoon has gone to a better place now, so please don't be sad, but if you must be sad, do so for the dog. He has lost his best friend, he sold out for a biscuit. I am sure he blames himself, maybe I should enroll him in therapy. On second thought, maybe not. I am not sure I want a psychologist knowing the things about me my dog knows, they might lock me away in the psych ward forever.

Kado would like to let anyone know who is reading this blog, he would like a new plubber animal to be his forever friend. Well, at least until his disembowels it and it has to go to the landfill in the sky.



Raccoon Toy





Kado Kalin